So this weekend has been a quiet weekend. After the drama of the other night it was much needed. He passed the "test," but I'm still restless because of the timing issue. I think its time for nicknames since 3 other will be mentioned in this post...so I'll call HIM "Mr. Perfect." And Mr. Perfect he is...except for that whole timing issue (that will hopefully be taken care of in July).
While I wait on Mr. Perfect to get his shit together, enter Big-X. Big-X broke my heart after a 3 year rollercoaster of a relationship that he chose to end [what seemed like out of the blue at the time] THE DAY WE STARTED BAR EXAM STUDYING. I was successful in cutting him completely out of my life until last November when he mistakenly heard I was shopping for a wedding dress and panicked. Now, despite his girlfriend of two years, I hear from him almost weekly. Sometimes its to just chat, but most of the time its in an attempt to "sext" and beg for dirty pictures. [I can't seem to make myself get rid of him, though I would cut him out completely for Mr. Perfect...]
Then there is College-Ex. C-E took my virginity, broke my heart in college, and was the one I looked up after the Bar Exam to boost my self esteem after Big-X shot it down. It worked, as College-Ex apologized for the way he treated me back then, took me as his date to a wedding, and had to listen to numerous people tell him he made a huge mistake in dumping me. [Just desserts, anyone?] He spends 1/2 the year in FL and looks me up whenever he is in the state and we try to catch up if I'm going to "happen" to be in his vicinity. Catch-up is always a lot of fun. ;) Honestly though, he's a great guy and the late-twenties me can assure the twenty-year-old me that we were never meant to be.
And finally, we have Mr. Thanksgiving or TG. I met him at a Thanksgiving "get-together" that my assistant invited me to because she felt sorry that I was going to get to see my family. We drank too much, flirted, and became facebook friends. About a year after that he was coming back into town for a conference and we met up for a drink. One thing led to another, and when he comes to town he's always a good time.
None of the above mentioned 3 have any long term potential, and ironically all three popped up since Thursday. (Some unexpectedly, but some rather unexpectedly) Regardless, they will serve as nice distracters -- from a distance -- while I wait on Mr. Perfect to get his shit together. Here's to hoping he doesn't break my heart in the end. [though he surely will...]
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Now, since the obligatory "first post" is done...I can actually say what's on my mind. Eventually, I have no doubts you will notice a pattern of at least two things (1) my love of commas and (2) one of three things are always on my mind; work, volleyball, boys (and not necessarily in that order). Tonight its boys, one boy in particular. I believe he is the love of my life and -- thanks to horrible timing -- I can't be with him (that's another story for another day). [here the "low morals" make an appearence] Suffice it to say right now our "relationship" is tenuous, explosive, and a huge rollercoaster. We fought tonight and I hit him exactly where I knew it would hurt. And it did, enough that he's ready to pack it in and say enough is enough. Maybe I'm testing him... Let's see how far I can push him before he disappoints and eventually walks away. Call me jaded, call me cynical, call me a bitch, but they always disappoint and/or they always walk away. Expect it and know that you are just fine by yourself. It may not be as fun...but you can only count on yourself in the end anyway.
So I've been an avid blog reader for a while now, and figured it was about time to start my own. I'm not sure which direction this blog will go, as many of the ones I read seem to have a theme. Basically, I plan on rambling on about anything that strikes my fancy, or more likley anything that I need to get off my chest, and see where that takes me...enjoy the ride.